As some of you may know, I’m a middle-aged man. So, as a middle-aged man, I’ve reached a point in my life where I like to reflect on some of the things I have done in my life. This is, for all intent and purposes, an account of a time in my life. The events are true, if not dramatized a bit, so please don’t take them too seriously.
Some people probably wonder about the name, Whizzer, and are interested in where it came from. It did actually come from somewhere, and I didn’t just pull the name out of a hat. Also, despite popular belief, it doesn’t reveal a deep emotional scar from my childhood. I wasn’t a bedwetter and it wasn’t a name I got for having an accident in the middle of school. It wasn’t a bully’s name for me that I decided to own. This name has no negative connotations at all, and you may be relieved to find out that it has nothing to do with pee.
It actually came a lot later in life, specifically when I was about fifteen years old. At that point and time, I had dated one or two girls, but it was always your fairly run-of-the-mill young teenage fling. We mostly just made out, and then we’d break up a week into it over creative differences. Those creative differences being I was horny and wanted to have sex, and the girls I dated didn’t.
I found as far as guys went, I developed a lot quicker than most in my class. By the time I reached middle school, my voice had lowered, my hair had grown, and I was DTF, whether I was emotionally prepared for the act or not. By high school, I was more looking for a playmate than a girlfriend, but my luck wasn’t that great.
I typically went for a certain kind of girl, and she wasn’t the slutty type. I went for the wallflowers, the girls who were quiet and reserved. I fantasized about breaking through their shells. I grew up around the time movies like American Pie came out. I had and still do have a giant crush on Alyson Hannigan. I loved Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but it’s Alyson’s role in American Pie that naturally solidified my ‘type’.
“One time, at band camp, I stuck a flute in my pussy.”
That’s a line I could watch her say on a loop all day, and I dreamed of having my own slutty little band camp girl. Yet, despite what movies told me, most reserved girls had no hidden, naughty, dark side.
Come the homecoming dance, the first dance of my high school career, and I found myself going alone. I didn’t have male friends that were the kind of guys who went to dances and looked for women. In fact, my closest friend was mostly just interested in gaming at home. Amusingly enough, by the time he got to the age he was interested in dating, I was already engaged to my wife.
So, I went to this dance alone, and I did the thing loners like me typically do. That is to say, I sat on one of the seats looking like a lost puppy while hoping a girl felt enough pity for me that she’d come to ask for a dance.
I should say that while I was a big geek at the time, I was also a rather attractive guy. I looked like your typical football player, so women were attracted to me. I wasn’t scrawny, weird-looking, or unfortunate. If I had a more outgoing personality, I probably would have been swimming in pussy. Unfortunately, I liked video games, anime, and books. Mind you, this was a time before Modern Warfare when video games were not mainstream, and being a fan made you a nerd.
So, the dance was going on, and I managed to get one or two sympathy dances from girls who just had no one else to dance with. I didn’t dance when it came to any upbeat songs. Who wants to jump around like an idiot? No, I waited for the slow songs, the only time we had permission to hold a girl close and then grind each other for 3-4 minutes while the teachers said nothing. Even then, the teachers broke up the most aggressive people on the dancefloor, but I think it’s clear that I wasn’t one of them.
It was at that point, while I was sitting on my chair looking like a wounded animal, that a girl finally approached me. She was hot, with long brown hair, a button nose, and a large D-sized chest. She asked me if I wanted to dance with her once a slow song started, and I said yes. After the dance, I was going to return to my shame-corner, but she grabbed my hand and didn’t let me leave. She put me behind her, put my hands on her hips, and then shook her butt, making sure it ground my cock until it was hard.
At first, I was embarrassed, because it started to get hard enough to notice. I shut my eyes tightly and tried to will my penis to shrink. It’s funny how much, as a teenager, you hope it’d just get soft. Now, as an adult, I hope it’ll just get hard. With her rubbing her butt up and down on my crotch, and me overflowing with teenage vitality, it naturally poked out and poked her butt in a noticeable way. She didn’t seem to mind as ground her butt into it. I thought maybe she just couldn’t feel it through the layers of fabric, but that’s how naïve you are when you’re that age.
It wasn’t until there was a song that was too slow to grind, but not slow enough to slow dance, that her hands went back behind her while she did a slow back and forth dance which I only realized in retrospect was just a distraction so no one saw what she was doing. What she was doing was reaching behind and grabbing my dick. Her fingers touched it and then playfully rubbed it. I was a teenager, and precum was coming out in waves. There was clear a wet spot on the front of my pants.
I recall her holding my cock through the pants while her thumb rubbed the wet spot, which also contained the head of my cock. I remember it vividly because this was the moment that I realized I had finally gotten a girl who was as curious as I was when it came to sex. For the rest of the dance, we couldn’t keep our hands off each other, and when it was over, I decided to leave the dance with her.
For the sake of privacy, we’ll just call her Wawchan. Well, Wawchan is actually based off of her, minus the ears, although she did wear cat ears once for Halloween. Wawchan was actually seventeen, a junior, and already had a driver’s license. My parents were supposed to pick me up, but I told them I was going to hang out with my friend at an after-party and they’d take me home. Fortunately, my parents trusted me, so I naturally immediately abused that trust like all teenagers.
In my city, there were basically two places you could call a makeout point. The first was on the beach, where there were a lot of places without very many lights where people could park and play in private. The second would be this nature reserve, where it was easy to find a nook, cranny, or bush. The high school and my house actually weren’t that far from the nature preserve, which also had a park portion to it, so we went and parked there.
The pair of us ended up walking down a street that ran through the park portion of the reserve. It was late at night now, almost eleven, and I wasn’t even sure if we were technically allowed in the park this late. However, we were teens and we didn’t care, so we entered the park without a care while chatting and flirting. The only illumination were the street lights which illuminated the road that cut through the park.
Eventually, the subject somehow fell on kissing, and she mentioned that she wanted to know if I was a good kisser.
“How about we find out?” I said in the smoothest voice I could, and then grabbed her and kissed her.
We made out for a minute. I’ve been told I’m a good kisser, and I at least had practice in that respect, so it was the one thing I was confident in.
When we finished, she looked up at me and said the words I wanted to hear. “Oh, wow…”
“So, was it good?” I asked that stupid question because I was still nervous.
“Mm…” She responded. “If you did it again, I don’t think I could stop.”
Well, since she said those words, how could I not kiss her again? I nearly tripped pulling her into another kiss. This time, when we parted, our sweaty hands held each other tightly. The pair of us seemed to be on the same wavelength, looking around the dark park to see if there was a place we could get some privacy.
What we ended up doing was walking away from the road. However, we were as stupid as we were horny, and after getting to an area about 20 meters from the road and shrouded in darkness, we embraced this time and ended up on the ground.
I was convinced we were too far off the road and that anyone looking our direction would only see the darkness. I was really dumb. Several cars did pass while we were there, and I now suspect that if they looked, they would have seen everything.
And by everything, I mean I had stripped this girl of her dress and bra and laid her out on the ground. When I got bored of kissing her lips, I moved away and went to her chest. Her breasts were big, and in the chilly fall air, her nipples were hard. My tongue and lips were their only source of warmth, but it was a double-edged sword because once I left them covered in my saliva, the cold was even more biting. However, she was horny and didn’t even seem to mind it as she made cute noises while I sucked and licked her naked body.
At this point, I had read some erotica and seen some porn, and this was my only reference to how sex was supposed to be done. Therefore, I was very heavy on foreplay, and I moved very slowly, making sure to tease her relentlessly as I kissed her from the neck all the way to her thighs. I distinctly avoided her vagina at first, trying to build up the arousal.
“A-are you a pornstar?” She gasped.
She really did like to say the things that boost my confidence through the roof. She apparently thought it was so good that she equated my actions to a professional. Anyone thinking she meant it in a mocking way, well, you weren’t there. She was totally in slut mode, and I had a feeling if I didn’t satisfy her soon, she’d start humping anything.
“I want to fuck you,” I whispered as I sucked on her thigh.
“I’m really tight.” She moaned back, looking at me with heat in her eyes.
When I peeled back her panties, I found she was completely clean-shaven, so she clearly was ready to go. I teased her for another few moments, kissing around the pussy, before I finally sucked the clitoris, flicking it between my tongue.
Mind you, this was all happening in full view of the street. We were literally in the middle of a grassy field with absolutely nothing hiding us but the dark, and I was convinced no one could see me.
Wawchan tasted good, like really good. I haven’t eaten a lot of pussy in my life, but hers was definitely the tastiest. Most take on a taste of piss, sweat, or saltiness, but I swear that her pussy really did taste sweet like sugar. Then, I spread her open and tried to put a finger in her. And… one finger was all I could get.
“Damn, you really are tight.”
“I told you!”
I could only use one finger, meanwhile, I used my thumb to rub her clit. For nearly ten minutes, I rubbed her raw while listening to her moans and the sounds of crickets.
To this day, I wish I had pulled out my cock and fucked her there, but her comment about being a virgin had scared me a bit. Furthermore, she was super tight, and I wasn’t sure how it’d fit. I’m not small, so it’d definitely need some time and effort.
Instead, I fingered her until she came. It took about ten minutes because apparently my nail had scratched her on the inside, and it was a tad uncomfortable. What? I’m telling you a true story. This kind of stuff happens. I did manage to push her through the pain and discomfort and get her to cum.
At that point, it was far passed eleven, and we were both worried that we’d get in trouble for coming home too late, and more importantly, that her car would get a ticket for being parked after closing. She pulled her clothing back on, the pair of us ran back to the car, and then she drove me home. We did manage to exchange numbers though, so I was happy.
Later that night, I had the feeling like I had been kicked in the balls. It comes when you have an erection for like… more than four hours. This was what they described as blue balling. She had cum, I hadn’t, so for all intent and purposes, I got blue balled. Still, I was happy, and we excitedly made another date.
Our second date occurred a few days later. We ended up going to a movie. I can even remember which movie we went to, Training Day. Now, if you knew me, you’d know that Training Day is a movie so far removed from the movies I liked that it’s a wonder we picked that. I actually don’t remember why we watched it. This was before movies like the Marvel Cinematic Universe hit the scene, so maybe there was just nothing better?
Either way, we sat in a somewhat crowded theater. Once again, being horny teenagers, my hand ended up in her lap. It found its way down her loose-fitting pants (I wondered if she purposely selected closing with the idea of ease of access in mind), and using our coats, we covered our laps. Once again, we were in a theater, and I can’t imagine we were subtle. Other people had to have noticed what we were doing, but at least they didn’t say anything.
I fingered her until she came. This time, I got two fingers inside her.
I whispered something equivalent to, ‘Oh, you’re getting looser’ into her ear, which upon reflection, isn’t really a flattering thing to say to a woman. Fortunately, she was a horny teenager just like me, so she took it sexually.
“I’ve been practicing. I can definitely fit you.” She responded confidently.
After I finished her off, it, fortunately, didn’t end up as another blue ball event. She reached into my pants and gave me a handjob.
While Denzel Washington shouted, “King Kong ain’t got nothing on me,” I got stuff all over her hand. We never were outed. Maybe people didn’t really see. Either way, we were both ready to fuck, but there was a problem. We both lived with our parents, and it was impossible to find a place with the privacy to do it.
Anyway, at this point, you’re probably wondering what this all has to do with my name. Well, that was all just a set up so you can understand the situation I and my girlfriend were in when we finally ended up on our third date.
For our third date, we ended up at an amusement park. It was a month later, and it was a chilly day. I got the tickets as part of some kind of sale promotion. You gave them aluminum cans and they sold the tickets for half off or something as part of a green day or coke tie in or something. So, we get there and she’s wearing this cute tank top and a miniskirt. It is way too little for the coldness of the day.
She seemed to think that she’d be fine, but an hour later, I saw her shivering and I ended up giving her my coat. At this point, we were full-blown honeymoon period, and we could not keep our hands off each other. If we were in a line, I was standing behind her, my erection poking her in the butt while she tried to grind it in a way no one else in line noticed.
I should also note that this was one of those skirts with a zipper that went down the butt crack. They were popular at some point. I guess women were supposed to be able to sit on the toilet without needing to pull their skirt down or something. I remember it distinctly cause every time she waved her ass back and forth, the zipper would flick across, and after an hour of this, the head of my cock was feeling a bit raw.
We continued to play all day. If we found a moment, I would squeeze her butt or give her a kiss. If we found an alley, I’d yank her into it and we’d make out while my hand slipped up her skirt and fingered her through her underwear. We’d always broke away just as a crowd of people passed by. We were both ridiculously horny and seriously considering finding a secluded spot to finally fuck.
However, it was an amusement park, and while this wasn’t a busy day because of the cold, it was still not a place synonymous with privacy.
That’s when we stumbled upon a roller coaster. It was called The Whizzer. It was a relic from the 70s, although it’s still open to this day. It’s not one of the big, exciting roller coasters that have a line that runs out for an hour. However, it’s not one of those dinky children ones either.
It doesn’t do loop-d-loops or super high falls, but it is a complete roller coaster. It’s also one of the most scenic and beautiful ones, as The Whizzer travels over several pretty lakes, green grass, and full trees. Where most roller coaters suspend themselves over an empty gravel space, this one is like taking a roller coaster through a nature preserve.
I had fond memories of it, and one of the reasons is because it was roomy. For a big kid who grew too fast, having a coaster that let me stretch out my legs was nice. Even my dad, a 300-pound man, fit in the Whizzer.
How was this possible? It was because the Whizzer was built for two. It had an extra-long cart, and one person could sit, and then the other could sit in their lap. The most obvious case was for a parent to sit and hold a child in their lap. In this way, it was a kid’s first real roller coaster, being large and dangerous enough to make a kid cry, but allowing them to be in the embrace of their mother.
However, the Whizzer also had a second purpose. That was naturally for a guy to ride with his girlfriend. She’d be sitting in his lap, and he’d wrap his arms around her. Combined with the incredibly scenic view, and the Whizzer was actually the perfect date ride. A couple got to hold each other the entire ride, and if the guy coped a feel during a large bump, who could blame him?
When I took her on the ride, this aspect of the Whizzer didn’t really occur to me. I was just thinking along the lines of it didn’t have a long line, and I’d get to wrap my arms around her. I should also add it doesn’t have one of those stupid picture kiosks, so we weren’t going to be displayed on a screen in front of a hundred other people.
We went through the ride like normal. Most of the carts were empty, and we could pick any cart we wanted, so I picked the first one. Of course, I had my hands wrapped around her, and of course, I slipped them up her shirt and even slid them under her bra and played with her tits. When we were done, we both got off the ride giggling.
That was when Wawchan’s face suddenly turned serious and she looked over at me. “Can we get back on?”
At first, I thought she had lost something, but that turned out to not be the case.
“I just want to ride again. Can we please ride again?” She begged me, her body sensually pressing up against me.
I didn’t know why she liked the ride so much, but the line was short, so we were able to get back on right away. This time, Wawchan grabbed my hand and B-lined straight for the last cart. I liked the front, even though there was usually a line, so I didn’t get why she wanted to be in the back. However, she insisted, and so the pair of us got into the back of the Whizzer.
It had a large seatbelt, not those giant bars you lower down, but before Wawchan sat down, she started fiddling with something under her. I thought she was having trouble getting comfortable. That zipper in the back couldn’t be soft to sit on, so I didn’t think of anything until she suddenly grabbed my dick.
“Pull it out!” She hissed back to be quiet.
At that point, I glanced down and realized I could see her bare ass. She had pulled her underwear down and unzipped her skirt. I looked around worriedly, but thankfully everyone was facing forward, there was no one in line on the platform, and the employee was in the front checking seatbelts.
I quickly pulled it out. Both of us were dying from horniness at this point, so she was really wet, and I was really hard. Like a lock and key that had been begging for entry, my cock just happened to fall into place and slide into her pussy. She gasped as it slid in, but she had no time to dwell on it. She only just managed to get the seatbelt around us and belted before the guy came by. My dick was inside my girlfriend, and hear was a guy looking down on us.
However, he was just an employee doing a thousand people a day. He didn’t even look as he tightened the belt. This further pushed Wawchan back and made my dick reach even farther inside her. At this point, her cheeks were flushed and she was panting. It sounded really loud to me, but I realize now that no one probably heard her. We were outdoors, it was slightly chilly, and we had gotten away with it. No one could see what we were doing.
That’s when the cart jolted forward. That sudden jolt of movement caused my dick to slide in and out about an inch. At this point, my heart was beating like crazy. This was the first time I had ever been in a woman, and every movement felt amplified by a thousand. Just the light bumping of the cart as it moved over the tracks was enough that I felt like I was about to blow my load.
As for Wawchan, she had her hands on my knees, and she was leaning forward in an unnatural position. Anyone who saw this would see something was up, but we were in the back cart so it didn’t matter. She started to gently rock her hips, and I couldn’t believe it, but we were actually fucking on a roller coaster. The feeling of her tight pussy was amazing, and since she was extremely nervous, she kept clenching on my dick, so even though her movements were restricted, it felt amazing.
Then, we hit the first fall. She let out a scream and fell back, my dick going in all the way. I wrapped my arms around her tightly and laughed as she struggled while her pussy was being violated. Since we were no longer in the view of the station, she abandoned all subtlety, grabbed my knees tightly, and started bobbing up and down. I grabbed her hips and helped, lifting her up under she pulled against the belt as far as she could, and then falling back down.
She was making loud, lewd whimpering noises as I fucked her. I remember looking at the cart in front of us and seeing a woman with her child in the cart ahead. Fortunately, her daughter was screaming her head off, so there was no way she’d hear what was going on behind her.
We rounded a corner, and suddenly we were fucking in a nearly horizontal position. Wawchan had grabbed on to the grab bar so tightly that her knuckles were white. At this point, she couldn’t move her hips even if she wanted to. She was more trying to stay on than anything. She had mounted this pony, and now she realized she had to ride it the whole way. She was letting out a scream, but it was lost in the sound of the other screams ahead of us.
This was her first time, so it was enough that my dick was inside her, but with the pair of us being tossed around left and right, I was probably stretching her pussy out quite aggressively. That’s why I said I dreamed of having sex with her that first night. I could have enjoyed her tight virgin pussy in a rather calm environment. In this case, her pussy was getting the Spartan treatment, and my dick reached places inside her she didn’t know it could touch.
“Ow… ow…” She cried, my dick being forced to the side as we twisted, making a complete round trip around her already cramped pussy.
Finally, there was a thump, and we hit one of those areas where the coaster was steadily going up an incline before the next drop. Wawchan slid back my dick once again plunging in deep. Her head fell back and she collapsed against me, breathing hard.
“Are you okay?” I whispered in her ear, feeling slightly worried.
“It’s fine, we can keep going…” she assured me.
That was really her best chance to get out of it, but when you’re a horny teenager, you didn’t think with common sense. She grabbed back on the bar, leaning her body forward until it looked like she was trying to look out the front of the cart. Then, using the bar, she started to thrust her hips up and down. Because we were going up a hill, we were nearly vertical, so it was more like she was on top and riding my cock. I got a grip of her miniskirt from both sides, and I used it like a hand, fucking her excitedly.
The sound was noising enough that over the grinding thump-thump sound of the roller coaster as it climbed was a wet thwap-thwap sound as I fucked her raw.
The coaster finally reached a high point, and then fell down. Wawchan screamed out, a sound that sounded just a tinge orgasmic when compared to the screams of the people in front of us. She fell forward, and if the seatbelt wasn’t on, she might have fallen completely off. My dick ended up popping out, and I could see the whole messy scene down below.
Just as I went to grab my dick, we hit the bottom of the gall and Wawchan slammed back. My dick missed her pussy and ended up finding the next closest hole. I’d like to say it slid right in and Wawchan discovered her love of anal sex for years to come, but this was reality, so it actually only popped in slightly. Just the head made it passed before she felt the pain and jumped. As soon as it slid in, she let out a scream. Fortunately, everyone was screaming, because it otherwise would have led to many people looking our way.
She pushed up, slapping my knee desperately. “Get it out!”
However, the seatbelt was too restrictive. I remember pulling back in my seat, but my butt wouldn’t go anymore. My cock was in her ass, and the lip of the head was caught on the rim of her asshole. Every time I strained, I could see her asshole bulging out, by my cock relentlessly remained inside her butt.
We ran out of time, as the rollercoaster was about to take another rough turn, so I grabbed her and pulled her down. I plunged my dick into her ass. Her eyes were shut and she screamed, but I wrapped my legs around her and shoved her close. Her ass was warm and right, but it was also roomier on the sides. As we went horizontal again, I just kept her from shifting, with my dick deep inside her.
“S-sorry…” I said.
Even though her eyes were closed and she was wincing, she managed to pant. “It’s okay… it’s fine… it feels okay.”
I had grabbed onto her as tightly as possible at this point, waiting for another lull period where I could make another attempt to leave her ass. However, as we continued to move, the stimulation of the movements, her asshole, and my own horniness proved to be too much. I had been so caught up in the ride I hadn’t realized how close I had gotten. A moment later, my cock swelled and I started cumming.
“Ah!” She let out a noise, and then grabbed my hand and squeezed.
We remained like that, me coming in her asshole until the ride ended. I mean, it sounded like a lot happened, but the ride from start to finish was only a few minutes. We didn’t have the time to readjust, and after everything, Wawchan’s ass and pussy had just been through, we both were hesitant to change the status quo. Yeah, I only lasted 2 minutes, but I have to stress I was a really horny teenager, and this was my first time after a day of build-up.
Fortunately, by the time the coaster rolled up to the station, my dick was soft, and so she barely had to move to push it out. She very hastily pulled up her panties while I zipped up her skirt. Then, I got my pants zipped. It wasn’t until she unbuckled and got up that I realized my pants were a bloody mess. Literally, there was blood all over my crotch. None of it seemed to get on her miniskirt, but I had to get my coat back from her and hold it in front of me until we got to a bathroom.
Those that claim that breaking the hymen only leave a little spot on the sheets or something are either lying or something. It was a mess. Then again, I figured some of it had to do with the rough nature of our first time.
I ran into the men’s room to watch my crotch, and she ran into the girl’s restroom to push cum out of her butt. Strangely enough, we both finished up and exited out respective sides at the same time. When the pair of our eyes met, we both just started laughing. It was like being a disaster survivor or something. Rather than destroying our relationship, the event had kind of gotten us closer together.
We continued to walk around. My pants were soaked, so I had to keep the coat on. Meanwhile, she didn’t want to sit down because it hurt. As we talked, we both agreed that it was probably good I ended up doing it in her butt. She had always planned for me to pull out our first time but had imagined she’d be swallowing it. She was so excited by the roller coaster idea she suddenly had; she hadn’t thought of protection at all. If I hadn’t slipped out of her at that moment, I definitely would have came inside her. Then, who knows what would have happened.
She was a good sport about the whole thing. Well, it was actually her idea, so it’d suck if she blamed me. She told me that she had cum too. Right before we reached the top of the ride, she said that she had an orgasm. She could have been lying to make me feel better. I don’t know. I didn’t notice it at the time. However, it made me feel better. She always knew what to say.
“It was honestly kind of hot having you cum in my ass.” She said.
“Does that mean anal is on the table?”
“We’ll see…” She responded with a subtle smile.
We only went on one more date. We went out on Halloween, and when we got home, we quietly snuck into my parent’s basement and had sex a second time. She didn’t have a cat tail on, but she did have the ears. I joked about a tail butt plug, but in hindsight of her first anal adventure, she seemed to develop some trauma. She immediately turned white and grabbed her butt.
“Never again!”
For any future guy who ended up with her, sorry I ruined your chances at anal sex. I didn’t mind, because her pussy was still great. This experience was a lot better than the previous time. I was using a condom and she didn’t bleed at all. I think we lasted a full five minutes before I came.
I know you probably want this story to end with… and then she joined my harem of women and we fucked forever and ever, so sorry for the dose of realism. We didn’t last. After our second time, she started having problems at home, and I realized I wasn’t mentally prepared to deal with a girl who suffered from chronic depression. We drifted apart. In the end, it turned out I was too young to deal with that level of commitment. She was turning 18 and starting to think about starting her life, and I had barely started high school. A month later, I broke up with her over the phone, and that’s how my relationship with her ended.
A few years later I’d meet my wife, so Wawchan remained my only serious girlfriend other than my wife. Most other relationships didn’t pass 2nd base and usually ended in less than a month. Some ended in weeks. Anyone thinking Whizzer here spent his life drowning in pussy, sorry to disappoint. I started dating my wife at 17 and married at 22.
So, what is a Whizzer? It’s a roller coaster where I lost my virginity. It’s a fantasy from an older, more innocent time. It’s a spot where I can wonder ‘what if’. It’s a place of beauty, excitement, and even sex.
For all of the readers, it’s an entertaining trip full of ups and downs for you to enjoy. So, come on board, there is always room. Better yet, grab your girlfriend, take a seat, and let Whizzer take you on a ride. Who knows, you might form relationships, get laid, and even open up to some new possibilities you had never considered before. Whizzer is a good time, nothing more.
Just… when you’ve finished, please take the mess with you.